My Terrible Experience with a Fortune Teller
Once upon a month ago, an Indian guru/psychic stopped me in the middle of boring Geneva to tell me my fortune. It began with telling me that certain obvious birth marks are a sign of good luck; how I will live a long life and do great things. Naturally, I wanted to go along with it since I’ve never been to a fortune teller and so I was intrigued.
To my disappointment however, he wasn’t that good. He told me how I will meet a nice muslim boy and we will have 3 kids, two of which will be twins. He went on saying that I should eat more strawberries (for good luck) and surround myself with LIONS (metaphorically of course). All of this was boring me out up to a point where he asked me where I’m from.
“My last girlfriend was Kuwaiti.”
“Oh really? That’s cool.”
“Yes, lots of Kuwaitis and Saudis come to see me to read their fortune.”
“Oh no way.”
“But you see Kuwaiti women don’t like men.”
“Umm, what do you mean?”
“They only want women. You see they are lesbians. Do you know what lesbian means?”
At this point, I was more shocked of his question than his wild assumption that ALL Kuwaiti women are lesbians.
“Umm yeah. I have to get going so…”
He then told me something about his charity helping orphans so I dropped him 20 Francs for the entertainment and took off, spending the rest of my day feeling completely weirded out and stupid.
Moral of the story: Eat more strawberries.